Hurt
by angelofmusicx0
Summary: A songfic to Christina Aguilera's 'Hurt'. Christine realizes the consequences of her actions on that fateful night and wishes she could stop the pain... not the greatest summary..


**Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Phantom of the Opera, or the song Hurt by Christina Aguilera.**

**A/N: I haven't forgotten about my story A New Life, I've just lost my muse. I plan on continuing it once I get some inspiration. I know where I want to take it though. **

** This is just a songfic that I came up with based on the song Hurt, by Christina Aguilera. Everytime I hear the song it reminds me of the story of phantom so I finally did something about it. And randomly I've gotten a lot of inspiration for song fics, so expect a few. I don't have an official beta, but my friend Katie is close enough to one- I always show her everything before it comes here so if it's not worthy-you wont see it. Well, I hope you all like this. Please leave a review, even if it is just a songfic. I'd really really appreciate them. Thanks! -Amanda**

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I heard his final cry and the sound of shattered glass. _'Its over now the music of the night.' _No. It can't be over. My eyes welled up with tears and I just exploded as they fell freely. It seems like I'm always being forced to make decisions, but then before I can make up my mind, they are made for me. I'm constantly being pulled in two directions without any choice and someone is always going to get hurt.

I left him in his own personal hell to be condemned by the approaching mob. I can't believe I left and I'm running up flights of stairs with the fiancée I no longer wish to have. I let Raoul take me away from this place, insisting I return to my flat. There I told Raoul that I needed to think everything over, and that the events of the last few days have been so overwhelming. I handed him back his ring and explained that I love him like a brother, and that by marrying him I would have been dishonest to the both of us. He was upset with me and thought I was mad but he finally accepted it and walked away with his head hung low.

As soon as I got home I didn't even change out of the wedding dress Erik made me; I went straight to my bed and just laid there, staring at the ceiling. My body was so overwhelmed with exhaustion that I slept for a good 7 hours without so much as rolling over. When I did wake up I was completely lost. I had no recollection of anything until it all hit me at once. And all I could think about at that point was Erik.

_Seems like it was yesterday_

_When I saw your face_

_You told me how proud you were,_

_But I walked away_

_If only I knew what I know today_

_Ooh, ooh_

I finally admitted it to myself that somewhere between the first time he took me below the earth into his mysterious abode, and last night's performance, I had fallen in love with him. He said I would learn to love him- little did anyone, let alone myself, know that I already had. But why did this strange and sweet epiphany have to occur now, when it was too late? Where was he, anyway? Was he still alive, or did the mob find him? Where was he?

_I would hold you in my arms_

_I would take the pain away_

_Thank you for all you've done_

_Forgive all your mistakes_

_There's nothing I wouldn't do_

_To hear your voice again_

_Sometimes I wanna call you_

_But I know you won't be there_

I grabbed my cloak and ran out the door of my flat as fast as my dancer's legs would carry me. It wasn't until I stopped for breath that I realized I was on my way back to the Opera Populaire. I was acting faster than my mind could process. There was no time for this. I needed to see if Erik was still there.

_Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you_

_For everything I just couldn't do_

_And I've hurt myself by hurting you_

Tears were streaming down my eyes as I was running. What if I was too late? And then I looked up to see the thick smoke surrounding my former home. After the chandelier fell, much of the Opera House fell victim to a ferocious fire. There were people outside looking at the building and it's damages, and talking about the Opera Ghost. I needed to get it. There was an officer that tried to stop me from going in, saying it was way too dangerous for me to go in. I pushed through him and into the strange place that would never be the same. I headed straight for my dressing room, only to find that it was left untouched by the fire. I looked on my vanity only to find a single red rose with the usual black ribbon tied around it. I took the flower and held it to my heart as I sank down to the floor in front of the mirror and cried for love I was sure I had lost.

_Some days I feel broke inside_

_But I won't admit_

_Sometimes I just wanna hide_

_'Cause it's you I miss_

_And it's so hard to say goodbye_

_When it comes to this, ooh_

_Would you tell me I was wrong?_

_Would you help understand?_

_Are you looking down upon me?_

_Are you proud of who I am?_

I can honestly say I'd give anything to see him one last time. Even if he never forgave me and wanted nothing to do with me, I just need to know he's alright. I fumbled with the bottom of the mirror to get it open and I traveled in the dark to the underground lake that I used to dread.

I have caused this poor man more pain than he deserved. Erik had been through so much already, all because of his face. I did tell him last night that his face did not bother me, but what I said after surely broke his heart more than anything. I wish I could take that back.

_There's nothing I wouldn't do_

_To have just one more chance_

_To look into your eyes_

_And see you looking back_

I've said so much to hurt him, when all he did was love me. If only I could tell him somehow that I was wrong. I blamed this all on him when it was my fault. I didn't want anyone to get hurt, so I led both him and Raoul to believe I could be theirs. I played with two hearts and in the end I broke three.

_Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you_

_For everything I just couldn't do_

_And I've hurt myself, oh_

I finally made my way to the lake and climbed in the gondola that was left floating there. I couldn't tell if that meant he was there or if he had left. There is so much that he needs to hear.

_If I had just one more day_

_I would tell you how much that I've missed you_

_Since you've been away_

_Ooh, it's dangerous_

_It's so out of line_

_To try and turn back time_

After what seemed like an eternity of rowing, I made it to Erik's home. It looked the same as it was when I left. I saw his mask laying on the organ bench and I took a seat on the floor beside it. I have always been able to sense his presence; it is just a feeling I get. I could tell that he was somewhere nearby, a thought that excited me and made me full of sorrow at the same time. To get his attention and to tell him what I had to say, I sang out to him,

_'I'm sorry for blaming you_

_For everything I just couldn't do_

_And I've hurt myself.._

_By hurting you'_


End file.
